Beyond Reason: September 21, 1999
Paul Revere High School, Boston, Mass.
LAST WEEK:
3 new champions crowned, but no gold. Marcus Payne returns, spoiling the party by swiping all the belts. Tonight, all the belts are on the line in a wild Tag Team bout, with Payne in control of the action. World Champ Axel Reed teams with US Champ Wyatt Wallace against Tag Team Champions Jarred Matthews and the Lunatic Ace Custis.
Dead Ed finally revealed, and it is Tom Collins. Can Shanoski spoil the debut?
A man gone mad; a family in peril. Can Fang stop the madness of Gabriel Ragnarok?
The former champ is depressed, giving a chance to a rising star: Can Brett Mondonno take advantage of Shane Erikson?
PLUS: Billy Bob goes for revenge against Superstar Ray Hagan, Peyton Dowdy attempts to snuff out the madcap fun of Wyld Chylde, Whiplash goes for revenge against the Poodle, Hellkid and Johnny Sledge make their debuts against each other and surprises galore …
RR: AND WE ARE LIVE! Ladies and Gentlemen, Welcome to Beyond Reason! We’re live at Paul Revere, the home of the UWC, and Chad Foster, it’s great to be back, isn’t it?
CF: Yes it is Rich. While some feds are proud of their Bingo Hall, we’re just happy to have our lease on life here at such a landmark as Paul Revere!
RR: We’ve got some great matches for you tonight … hold on … something’s going on in the back … Courtney, are you there?
CB: Yes Rich … it seems someone has brutally attacked Daniel Fritz in the back … I didn’t see it, I don’t know who did it, but it was done with a lot of malice!
RR: Well, it looks like we’ve got our first casualty of the night!
CF: And there’s going to be more! Let’s go to the ring!
Peyton Dowdy v. Wyld Chylde
RR: This match is gonna be "wyld!"
CF: That was pathetic. Oh well, here comes Peyton Dowdy. He seems to have
taken exception to Wyld's antics and wants to put an end to his mouth
running, although Dean did a pretty decent job himself last week.
RR: Well, we have ourselves a match this week, not a cheap run in. Now here
comes Wyld with Irene. Wyld has a bag of goodies ,it looks like, that he's
slid into the corner of the ring.
CF: Oreos? A wiffle bat? Condoms?
RR: Now why would you say something like that?!
CF: I don't know, I don't care. Peyton is already attacking Wyld in the
ring, so shut up now.
RR: You're right! Peyton is pounding on that shrimp's back! Wyld down on
the canvas now, Peyton is putting the boots to him!
CF: Wyld is secretly reaching into his bag and has now pulled out a can of
silly string! He's spraying it all into Peyton's face! Dowdy falls back,
temporarily blinded, as Wyld stands up, straightens out his wrinkels, and
continues.
RR: Wyld is now spelling his name on Peyton's stomach with that silly
string! Him and Irene are just full of giggles tonight! Now he's done
spelling, and he just throws the can into Dowdy's head *thunk*.
CF: I think Wyld's a bit clueless in this ring. He's looking at Irene like
he doesn't have a clue. It's been a while since he's competed, so who knows
how rusty he is?
RR: Irene is looking in the bag for him, trying to find something quickly
before Peyton gets his act together again. She pulls out a...WHAT!?
CF: Wyld has an economy size jug of Ecto-Cooler! He's just going to town on
that, swigging some, dumping the rest on Dowdy, swigging some, dowsing Peyton! He got some in the referee’s eyes! He’ll be more blind than usual!
RR: But through his blind rage, Peyton spears Wyld into the canvas! Wyld is
holding his rib cage like it just imploded on him.
CF: Good. you goof around, you get messed up. Peyton is clearing his eyes
now, and putting the boots to Wyld Chylde. What's up with that name, anyway?
RR: I don't know, but in the past he's been able to use his skills to
surpass the pitiful label. Right now, though, Peyton is putting the works on
Wyld. He's got him on the top turnbuckle, and is threatening a superplex!
CF: Wyld's punching back! Wait a second, he's stepped behind Peyton on the
turnbuckle … WYLDCANRANA!!!
RR: But no referee … look, here’s Tommy Kain!
1!
2!
3!
CF: Holy shit, a stunning, and mighty quick, win for Wyld Chylde! But why did Kain count out PD?
RR: I’m not sure, but we might find the answer later on tonight …
Hagan v. Billy Bob
RR: Well folks, last week it was supposed to be Eric Miles versus Billy Bob, but Superstar Ray Hagan saw fit to end Miles’ career by attacking his leg. He also let Billy Bob have it with the Superstar kick. This week, Billy Bob confronts the Superstar on his own terms in the squared circle.
CF: Yeah whatever. It’s the “Superstar” versus the hick. If this guy is such a superstar, what’s he doing here?
RR: Um, what do you mean?
CF: I’m not sure.
RR: Hmm … well, let’s welcome Billy Bob back to the ring! Here he comes, and well, he still has his fans. I just don’t get it, but oh well. I guess it’s that old Southern Charm.
CF: Get over it. All these people secretly hate him.
RR: And here comes the Superstar … he’s one of a million, and we’ll see how many lights he can knock out with that Superstar kick.
CF: And Billy Bob is all over him! He’s ragtagging him with lefts and rights!
RR: You might say he was clubberin’! Billy Bob whips the Superstar into the ropes but Hagan ducks a clothesline and comes back with one of his own!
CF: Good move by the Superstar … I think I like this guy.
RR: You do? Why?
CF: I can see talent in its purest form, and I believe that this kid has “it.”
RR: I’ll take your word for it as Hagan dispenses another clothesline to take Bob back down. Hagan is getting ready in the corner … Superstar Kick misses as Billy rolls out of the ring … Off the ropes … baseball slide dropkick misses. Billy Bob goes after Hagan with lefts and rights and here’s a whip into the steps! Billy Bob now content to stomp a mudhole on him! Bob rolls Hagan back into the ring.
CF: What an inbred idiot!
RR: Hey Chad, he asked nicely not to be called that. Kick to the gut by Bob … off the ropes and here’s a bulldog to take Hagan down… for the win:
1!
2!
Hagan’s up. Billy Bob goes after the leg but Hagan’s fighting it … if Billy Bob can turn him over, it’ll be the Hog Tie!
CF: And you know how painful that hold is!
RR: Hagan’s reaching and he’s tripped up Billy Bob … roll through and he’s got him hooked for the Star-Cross … incredible! What a reversal!
CF: Yeah, but in the process they ended up in the ropes! Billy Bob rakes the eyes!
RR: Hagan can’t see, and now here’s a whip into the ropes … Powerslam, no! Hagan floats over … kick to the gut, front facelock, lift, BRAINBUSTER! BIG MOVE! Hagan’s pointing up to the sky … Apparently he wants to go to the top rope … Could it be a Shooting Superstar Press?
CF: That would be clever, wouldn’t it?
RR: Billy Bob is down, but Hagan is taking his time getting to the top … and Billy Bob meets him! Hagan is crotched on the top … Billy Bob follows Hagan to the top … they’re both standing up on the top … Billy Bob is going for a Belly Welly Superplex but now Hagan’s firing right hands to the face! They switch positions … Hagan has him hooked … and OH MY GOD! They both slipped off the top rope and to the floor! OH WOW! They both look hurt! The ref is checking on them … they fell from pretty far up with nothing, not even a table to break their fall … the ref is counting:
1!
2!
3!
4!
5!
6!
7!
8!
9!
10!
CF: Double Count out? Ah nuts. We need another match.
RR: It’s clear that nothing was settled, and it’ll have to all come to ahead sometime in the future for these two.
CF: Was that spot planned?
RR: Shut up the cameras are still on.
CF: Oh. We’ll be back after these commercials.
Whiplash v. Poodle
RR: Well folks, it’s “Break Stuff” by Limp Bizkit, and that can only mean one thing … it’s time for Whiplash and Vicious Vicki to come down to ringside!
CF: I heard from some reliable sources that Whiplash is working with a nagging injury …
RR: Well, you are the owner of this company.
CF: Yeah … Whiplash told me.
RR: Well, then, I guess it all makes sense. Look out … Vicki’s got the mic …
CF: This is where she tells us all to jack …
RR: Easy Chad …
VV: Paul Revere, I’m not a slut, I just like to have sex!
Crowd: YAY! WOO! YAY!
RR: The crowd liked that statement!
CF: SO DID I!
VV: And Whip, honey, I’m sorry, but you’re just not cutting it anymore.
RR: Look at that look on Whiplash’s face.
VV: There’s someone in the back that’s a little bit better … hell, a lot better! It’s over, honey.
RR: It’s over? Is Vicious Vicki breaking up with Whiplash on, well, city-wide TV, national if you have the dish program?
CF: Whiplash has got the mic …
Whiplash: Who is it? I’ll kill him. You can’t leave me …
RR: Who’s that coming from the crowd … it’s … it’s …
CF: BRITTANY!
RR: LOW BLOW ON WHIPLASH!
CF: Oh that’s vicious …
RR: Whiplash is bent over … Vicki just put her skirt over Whiplash’s head … She drives him down with a face slam … Call it the Carpet Muncher!
CF: Whiplash isn’t moving …
RR: We need to get the doc down here now …
CF: Oh look out … Brittany and Vicki are making out! WOW!
Brittany: We’re not sluts, we just like to have sex!
Crowd: YAY! WOO! YAY! TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF! TAKE IT OFF!
RR: Oh my God … they’re going to do it! Take a break! Take a break! What’s the Poodle doing in there? He’s humping Whiplash’s leg! The ref is down to count:
1!
2!
3!
CF: They’re getting naked!
RR: The Poodle wins amidst this chaos … oh wow … those are big … take a commercial, dammit!
RR: Well, the ladies have put their clothes back on thankfully … But Whiplash is out from that Carpet Muncher that Vicki hit him with … Apparently, he may have a neck injury. We don’t know how serious it is, but we’re taking every precaution … we’ve got a gurney out for him.
CF: Yeah … we like to make fun of guys, but we don’t want to see him get hurt. Get well, Whip, and we’ll welcome you back to the ring any time … and hell, maybe you can get your hands on Vicki this time.
RR: LOOK! Up in the stands … is that … Nastrodamus?
CF: It may be … where’s he going?
RR: I just got word in the back … something’s going on … Courtney?
CB: Yes … Billy Bob has just attacked Daniel Fritz … I’m not sure why, but he’s really letting him have it!
RR: This is the second time Fritz has been attacked tonight!
CF: I guess the poor guy isn’t wanted by some of the people in the back … Well, Rich is getting into the ring for an interview, so let’s go!
TK Interview
RR: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome to the ring, the one, the only, Too Cool Tommy Kain!
CF: And here comes Tommy, wearing his black TK "Drinkin ain't Easy" T-shirt … he gets into the ring and stands next to Rich.
RR: Tommy, You’re a former world heavyweight champion, and you’ve got history with a lot of the fellows in the back. Tell us what’s on your mind.
TK: Well Kainiacs, tonight you witnessed the last straw. The stick that broke the camel's back, the final blah, blah, blah. Anyway, the point is it's over. I tried to give the folks a group they could be proud of a group that put the fun in fundamentals and the Rah in the Tommycanrana. But I knew I couldn't do it alone. I needed help, and silly ol' me, I thought that I had that help in Damon and Peyton, but noooooo, it didn't pan out. It started to seem to me that it was always me, always my responsibility, always MY loss, not OUR loss, always OUR win, not ever MY win. Well ya know, sometimes ya got ta beat good ol' TK upside the head a few times for him to get the picture. But guess what Kainiacs, TK's got the picture now. And here's a little Van Gogh for ya. TK is on his own and guess what, the whole UWC is open season. I got little surprise party's planned for each and every one of you.
RR: Are you calling out everyone in the back?
TK: Now everybody from Reed, all the way down to OG Daniel Fritz, watch yourselves cuz see the Kainster is tellin ya this, you won't know when or where, or hell, even how, but when it does, BANG, but you'll never forget your TK surprise. Now I already got my first guest picked out. Ya see this guys been gettin on my last cool nerve since back in the ICW days. Besides being boring, untalented, and not too mention it, god awful ugly, he's also the biggest crybaby on the planet. Now if that wasn't enough clues I'll spell it out for you. S-H-A-N-E. That's right ratings dropper, TK's callin you out, I don't care when, where, or how. Let's get it done so I can show
you two things, one, I can show you that I am now and always have been better than you, annnnnnnnnnd, I'M TOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL, AND WELL............................ YOU'RE NOT!
RR: There you have it … Tommy Kain, everybody …
Crowd: YAY!
Shane Erikson v. Brett Mondonno
CF: If you’ll excuse me, I need to go to the back to check on Whiplash’s condition. I’m sure someone will fill in for me out here … cue “the sound of free speech” … I guess we know who’ll be filling in …
RR: Well, now we have the privilege of having Dean McGrath come out to commentate again for the second week in a row! And here he comes! The crowd seems to be taking a liking due to his recent comments for some particulars here in the UWC. Dean makes his way around...here, have a seat, F.M.C.
DM: It's funny how everybody calls me that, but only if they knew what it meant, they'd be laughing out loud.
RR: Well, what does it mean?
DM: DON'T TOUCH ME! Anyways...let's get this match over with quickly. We all know by now that watching Shane Erikson wrestle is about as fun as...well, it's not fun at all. everybody at home, PLEASE keep watching! There's good matches after this one, I promise!
RR: Well, here comes Brett Mondonno. The crowd just about hates this guy, as well.
DM: The sexiest man alive? He can have that title, so we can save the REAL titles for WRESTLERS.
RR: Mondonno inside the ring, awaiting your best friend, Shane Erikson.
DM: Oh yeah...the big EQUILIZER, Little Bunny Erikson, Shane the Pain, has less talent than Dave Mustaine...SHANE ERIKSON!
RR: Oh God...well, here he comes, running full force to ringside! He slides into the ring, ascending the top turnbuckle and he's pointing at YOU, DEAN!
DM: WHAT!? You want some!? Come get it, bitch!
RR: Sit down, Dean! You're not in this match, so sit down!
DM: That little bitch better stop running his mouth and realize he's got a match to deal with in Brett Mondonno up there.
RR: Oh, huff puff. Brett Mondonno has just dropkicked Erikson over the ropes and the action has spilled out onto the floor. Mondonno with a springboard cross body block!
DM: That move leaves Erikson about three feet away from our announcing table. If he even gets closer...
RR: Erikson up with a slap to Dean's face! Dean, sit down! Dean is up, and now he is chasing Erikson around the ring! Shane turns the corner, ducks under, and Mondonno connects a clothesline, wrapping Dean's throat around his bicep! Now Erikson and Mondonno are giving Dean McGrath a whooping!!! The ref is outside, in the middle of the two men! Shane looks up and pops Brent with a thumb to the eyes! Now Erikson rolls into the ring, as Mondonno slides back in himself. Dean is laid out on the floor! Erikson now putting the boots to Brent. he picks him up and whips him to the ropes, and bam, a powerslam! The quick cover...
1...
2...
kickout.
RR: Shane stands up slowly, an Irish whip to the corner, and he follows in with a clothesline attempt, NO! Mondonno sunset flips over Erikson, now the pin...
1...
2...
kickout.
RR: It looks as if Dean is back to his feet, the crowd showing approval. Erikson now springs up and lariats Mondonno into the corner! Shane perches him on the middle turnbuckle, hooks him in, and BAM, a great belly-to-belly suplex! Holy shit, is he already going for the Revenge!? Shane hooks Mondonno's head in, lifts him up, but Dean has his foot, and Shane falls to
the mat! Mondonno falls on top!
1!
2!
3...NO!
RR: Shane gets up quickly, reaches and grabs Dean's hair, but Mondonno rolls him up from behind!
1!
2!
3...NO!
RR: Mondonno with a series of pin attempts on the former world champ! Erikson now charging, only to be hit with a dropkick! he springs back up, another dropkick! Up and charging again, Mondonno sends him to the ropes, Erikson back to a spinning heel kick! Erikson rolls out! Dean Mcgrath grabs his ass and throws it back inside! erikson now in the corner, on his knees, begging for mercy! Mondonno looks to the crowd he runs in and connects with a dropkick to the already floored Erikson! Here comes Dean back to the announcing booth! Dean, how's the action!?
Dean McGrath: Hahaha, real funny. Shane is gonna get his, Mondonno is taking care of him nice and well right now.
RR: Mondonno has him in the corner, in a slouched position! Could we see a few bronco busters!?
DM: Isn't that Shane's move? Regardless, here comes Mondonno with a parody of Erikson's best seller, OHHHH...Erikson with the foot up! That little shit got crafty all of a sudden. Shane scrapes Mondonno off the canvas and delivers a powerbomb that just shook the Paul Revere chalkboards!
RR: Very descriptive, Dean. Erikson with a quick two count, and he's still on top. Now Erikson is pointing to the outside at you again, Deaner.
DM: You bitch! Concentrate on your match before I slap you around!
RR: Sit down, Dean! Damn it, Foster said you could commentate, not participate!
DM: That little weasel is still taunting me. I swear to God, if he comes down here again, I am gonna lay his ass out and have Tom Collins pour his passion punch all over the place!
RR: Disgusting! now Erikson lifting Brett up for a second powerbomb! This time he runs with Mondonno, finally coming down with a beautifully performed running Liger bomb! Coincidentally, he just planted Mondonno right in front of you, Dean.
DM: Yeah, you don't think I can see this? That little piece of shit isn't even going for the cover, he's just taunting me, and making Mondonno look like a sucker.
RR: In any event, Erikson now lifting Mondonno up for what looks to be a third and possibly final powerbomb. He lifts Mondonno, but Brent turns it around into a huracanrana pinning combo!!
1!
2!
333333333333NOOO!
RR: Erikson squeazes a shoulder up! My god, Brent took everything he had and edged that move out! What great athleticism!
DM: Now he needs to follow up and beat Erikson, which should be easy. It'll probably take a few more arm drags, a couple hip tosses, maybe a bodyslam for good measure, and bam, we've got a winner.
RR: Although I disagree, Mondonno now stealing the advantage with continuous kicks in the corner to Erikson's cranium. Brent measures him up, turns around into another beating spinning heel kick, this one spinning both combatants over the top and outside again.
DM: Erikson's got about seven foot this time.
RR: Dean, I want you to stay seated. Be controlled, cooler heads prevail, remember? Mondonno's gonna whip Erikson into the guard rail, but Erikson reverses it and here comes Mondonno right into McGrath's lap! DEAN! he's just thrown his head set off and has begun to beat Brent senseless! Dean gorilla presses Mondonno up and drops him neck first on the guard rail!
Erikson comes running in as Dean ducks, and as Shane turns around, he is nailed with my cup of water! Damn it, Dean! Dean slides Shane into the ring, and throws a chair in behind him. McGrath winds up, it looks as if Erikson is going down! The ref gets in between the two! Erikson steals the chair, and while the ref is preoccupied with Dean, he's outside again, and he
just slammed that chair into Mondonno's face! BLOOD'S DRIPPING all over Brett’s forehead! Dean's forced out, and he's coming back. Erikson throws Mondonno back inside, the ref unaware of the chair shot! Dean!?
DM: That Erikson is gonna get his!
RR: Erikson now holds the weak and limp Mondonno up and DDT's him! the cover!
1!
2!
3!
RR: My God! Erikson wins in a brutal show of trickery! Wait! DEAN! Dean has run in behind Erikson … Dean takes the chair and wraps it around Shane's face! Erikson bounces off the ropes, stunned. Dean catches him on the rebound, CONNECTS with another brutal shot!!! Erikson's neck just bent the wrong way, folks! Erikson's motionless! Dean's taking the chair and is now laying Shane's face on it! Dean begins to tippy toe dance on Shane's face!!! The crowd's loving it! What's this? Dean is pulling something out of his pants!? He's asking for a microphone!
Dean McGrath: This, people, is a legal UWC contract! And this, people, is a pen! My name is signed, so Shane, do us all a favor!
RR: Dean is taking Erikson's, in his state of unconsciousness, hand and is signing the contract for him! If it's done by his hand, then it's legal!
Dean McGrath: Well my goodness, Foster! We've got ourselves a match for next week!
RR: Mondonno rising slowly, and OH MY GOODNESS! Dean smacks him with the chair again! McGrath exits the ring, and the ring is left a bloody mess! Wait a minute … Whitney is following Dean out … She’s leaving Mondonno? I don’t know how Dean feels about girls that don’t speak English very well, but how can you say no to that body? We’ll take a break and we’ll dispatch Courtney to the back to see if Deaner gets lucky tonight …
Collins v. Shanoski
RR: Well folks, this will be a wild one. Last week, the identity of Dead Ed was revealed, and it was none other than the incomparable Tom Collins. His victim last week: Sean Shanoski. Shanoski was the victim of a triple team at the hands of Foster, Brittany and Collins. Will he get revenge tonight?
CF: Well, frankly, no, because he’s a friggin’ loser and he knows it, I know it, and the people at ringside know it!
RR: Well, I don’t know about that Chad, he did pin you two weeks in a row and he did nearly beat you to death in the Boston Street Fight.
CF: Shut it! Just bring the imbecile out here so I can watch Collins kick his ass.
RR: Alright, and here he comes, the hardcore icon, Sean Shanoski! He’s got a score to settle with Collins and you, Foster. You better believe that he’ll be looking to drop someone through this table into your lap again …
CF: He better not … and by wasting time on stuff like that, Collins will have him …
RR: Shanoski is in the ring, standing on the second rope directly above us, soaking in the fans’ approval … And here he comes, Miss America himself, Tom Collins!
CF: And look who’s leading him to the ring … Brittany in what can only be described as see-through, tight and sexy as hell! Damn I wish I was a lesbian.
RR: Did you just say what I thought you just said?
CF: If I said it out loud, I guess I did.
RR: Well, TC is in the ring, and Shanoski is staring a hole right through Collins, but Collins is brushing him off … Brittany is getting in the ring behind Shanoski … he turns around to confront her but Collins is on him with forearms to the back! He grabs Shanoski and whips him into the ropes and nails him with a picture perfect dropkick!
CF: What form! It seems Collins lapse away from the ring afforded him no ring rust.
RR: He lifts Shanoski but Shanoski fights back and rakes the eyes … he backs Collins up and here’s a whip into the ropes … Shanoski catches him for a slam but Collins flips over and out … waistlock … but he’s doing nothing but playing mindgames with Shanoski … Shanoski to the ropes for the break and a look of disgust and hatred written on his face …
CF: Collins is a master of psychology …
RR: Collar and Elbow no, Shanoski with a boot to the gut. There’s a forearm to the face that staggers Collins and now a snapmare … kick to the back by Shanoski! Off the ropes and the elbow drop misses!
CF: Collins is as quick as a cat!
RR: Quick as a gay cat! Collins straddles Shanoski and rains down rights on his head! He lifts him up … Vertical suplex! For the pin:
1!
2!
Shanoski is up …
CF: Dammit.
RR: Collins pulls Shanoski up and here’s a whip into the ropes, no reversed … Shanoski has him … T-BONE SUPLEX! Collins landed hard!
CF: Dammit.
RR: Shanoski dumps Collins to the floor … he whips Collins into the guard rail! OUCH! Now into the steps! Collins is getting a hard core lesson from Shanoski … Shanoski has a chair! He’s going to nail Collins with it! Brittany grabbed it from behind him! Shanoski tosses Brittany down … but Collins is back up with a low blow! He rolls Shanoski back into the ring …
CF: See what he gets for trying to cheat?
RR: Collins to the top rope … he goes for an axehandle off the top but Shanoski catches him! NORTHERN LIGHTS SUPLEX!
1!
2!
3
Collins escapes!
CF: That wa a close one.
RR: Shanoski off the ropes but Brittany grabs his leg! He breaks free and charges Collins but Collins gets a boot to the gut … off the ropes … COCKTAIL SHAKER! Collins crawls over and makes the cover:
1!
2!
3
Shanoski kicks out!
CF: HOW IN THE HELL!
RR: Shanoski has got some fight …
CF: That’s not fight, that’s idiocy!
RR: Collins lifts Shanoski … he’s going to be going for the Cocktail Shaker 2000 … Shanoski grabs the tights and pulls Collins out of the ring though, giving him time to recuperate!
CF: I hate to say it, but that was a smart move …
RR: Collins onto the apron and Shanoski decks him! They’re right in front of us folks … Shanoski with a hand full of hair rams Collins’ head into the turnbuckle … he’s got him hooked … he’s going for the Agent Orange! He’s going to put Collins through our table!
CF: He better not!
RR: Shanoski lifts but Brittany grabs Collins’ legs! She’s not going to let it happen! Shanoski kicks her away, but that lapse in concentration is all Collins needed … he lifts Shanoski in a vertical suplex and down comes Shanoski onto our table! And, since this is a weekly occurrence, it should be no surprise that Foster was caught in the carnage … OH Well. Brittany grabs Shanoski and throws him into the ring … You okay Chad?
CF: I’ve been better … I think I need to see the doc …
RR: Collins has Shanoski up in the torture rack … he spins Shanoski out into a neckbreaker! THE COCKTAIL SHAKER 2000! For the win:
1!
2!
3!
Collins wins! He had to have an assist from Brittany, but Collins is your winner …
Hellkid v. Johnny Sledge
RR: Alright fans we are ready to get back to the a..... well, here comes Peyton Dowdy … and I guess it looks like PD will be joining us for this next match up...
PD: Would you mind shutting up so I can get a few words in?
RR: Ummm...
PD: That is what I thought, alright before we get put to sleep by this next
match up there are a couple things I gotta say....WyldChydle you still suck...
RR: Oh yeah I bet it took a lot of thought to come up with that one......
PD: Alright smart ass, why don't you just be quiet. Now as I was saying
WyldChylde still sucks, Tommy Kain is going to have some hell to pay and well
later on tonight I have a little something in store for everybody out there,
it should be great...
RR: Now that you have said that can we get to the match up?
PD: Yeah I guess, but we all know Lords is going to destroy Johnny "I have
no clue what I'm talking about" Sledge. I just hope it will be quick,
although a good nap never hurts...
RR: Why don't you just go away? Anyhow "damaged" by Black Flag has started
up on the speakers and the Ayatolla of Rock and Rolla himself is on his way
out and he looks pumped up.
PD: Yeah Johnny Sledge can praise satan and kiss his ass!
RR: OH WOW...Sledge runs down and nails Lords from behind with a viscious
clothesline to the back of the head....maybe you should've said he can praise
satan and kick his ass instead...
PD: Whatever, its going to take a lot more to keep Hellkid down then Sledge
can dish out.
RR: You sure are confident in Hellkid...Sledge pulls Lords up and gives him
a couple stiff knife edge chops across the chest, Lords stumbles backwards
towards the ring. Sledge charges in and goes for a clothesline.
PD: No, Hellkid ducks low and sends Sledge up and over into the ring apron
with a nasty back drop. Hellkid rolls into the ring and admires his handy
work from there.
RR: Sledge struggles to his feet holding his lower back, he rolls under the
rope and the match is now officially underway. Hellkid lays the boots to
Sledge as he tries to get up to his feet.
PD: Lords grabs a handful of hair and gives Sledge a little help getting up,
he sends Sledge into the ropes with an irish whip, but it is reversed and
Lords is sent into the ropes.
RR: Hellkid comes off and kicks Sledge in the face, he telegraphed that
attempt at a backbody drop, Sledge might be showing signs of ring rust here,
after all this is his first match in quite awhile.
PD: Well it could just be the fact he sucks and was never any good to begin
with.
RR: Anyways...Hellkid grabs Sledge by the hair and drives him down face
first into the mat with a nasty face slam, Lords makes the quick cover...
...1
...2
..Sledge gets his left shoulder off the mat and the match continues.
PD: Hellkid hops up and hits the ropes quickly, he comes back and drives a
short leg drop across the throat of Sledge. Way to go Hellkid!
RR: Lords gets up and appeals to the crowd who has solidly gotten behind him
in this match.
PD: Hellkid back to the offensive, he hooks up Sledge and takes him over
with a vertical suplex, Hellkid follows up with a stomp right to the abdomen
of Sledge...He's on a roll now, Sledge is screwed.
RR: Hellkid goes for an eblow drop, but Sledge moves aside and Hellkid hits
nothing but canvas, I guess you spoke to soon.
PD: Shut up....
RR: Hellkid and Sledge both up, Hellkid charges but Sledge side steps him
and Lords spills out to the floor. Johnny steps through the ropes and down
onto the floor to attempt some offense on hellkid.
PD: That'd be a first, we haven't seen a damn thing from Sledge since the
sneak attack at the begining of the match.
Ref: 1! 2! 3! 4!
RR: Sledge scoops up Hellkid and drops him throat first on the gaurdrail
Ref: 5! 6! 7!
PD: Sledge rolls back into the ring to stop the count and then slips back
out to the floor but gets met with a stiff right hand to the gut from
Hellkid, Hellkid gets up to his feet and delivers another hard right to
Sledge.
RR: Lords with the Irish whip, NO! REVERSED AND HELLKID GETS SENT INTO THE
RINGPOST!!!
PD: LOOK AT THAT CHEATER!!!
RR: Umm, that isn't cheating really, just stop whining and face the fact
Sledge is better then you think he is.
PD: Whatever...
RR: Sledge pulls Lords up and rolls him back into the ring. Sledge is going
to the top rope, what are we going to see here?
PD: Nothing because Hellkid just shook the ropes and Sledge busted his nuts
on the top turnbuckle...HAHAHA he got what he deserved.
RR: That was defiantely a showing of ring rust right there...
PD: Excuses, excuses...Hellkid looking to capitalize right here, he hooks up
Sledge and is attempting a superplex!
RR: No blocked by Sledge, he pushes Hellkid off the top rope and down to the
mat. Sledge stands up on the top turnbuckle and leaps for an ax handle smash.
PD: HELL YEAH, Hellkid stops him in his tracks with a dropkick right to the
stomach, Hellkid makes a cover.....
...1!
...2!
...3! NO! what the...
RR: Sledge manages to get out of that...Hellkid complains to the ref about a
slow count, wait Sledge from behind with a roll up...
...1!
...2!
PD: Hellkid kicks out easily and squirms up to his feet, he runs over Sledge
with a viscous lariat.
RR: Now Hellkid is going to take his chances with the top rope.
PD: Yeah, this should be good, Sledge is done for...
RR: Hellkid wasting a lot of time jawing with the fans here....He gets to
the top, no wait Sledge pulls Lords off the ropes.....He spikes him down head
first with a DVD...THE WRECKING BALL!!!
PD: NO!!!!!
RR: Sledge with the cover.....
1!
2!
3!
Big win for Johnny Sledge in his debut here in UWC, and a good way to
return to in ring action for him....
PD: Yeah whatever, he still sucks just like WyldChylde, I’m outta here get
that loser Foster back...
Fang v. Gabby Ragnarok
RR: This one is going to be a grudge match! With some of the chilling remarks Gabriel Ragnarok made during the week after his absolutely insane flip out a week ago, where he had to be restrained and tazered by a legion of cops, Fang has to know that he’s got to stop this insanity before it gets completely out of control!
CF: You said it right. Ragnarok has threatened Fang’s family, he’s threatened Fang’s well being, and last week, Ragnarok flattened Fang with his broad sword.
RR: Thank god no one was hurt seriously by that thing… it’s a dangerous weapon and does not belong at ringside.
CF: I agree …and here comes Fang! The fans have taken to him, and it looks like he left Violet and Emi at home … probably a wise decision by Fang.
RR: Well, Fang’s a martial artist, and his Breaking Point backbreaker can come out of nowhere … I recall vividly when he snapped Brett Mondonno in two.
CF: But Fang’s giving up size and power and possibly a psychological advantage to the deranged Ragnarok, who may not even care about wins and losses now.
RR: And here he comes … and he’s got a microphone in his hand …
GR: Hey Fang … I saw that you left your precious family at home … aren’t they pretty, all huddled together, fearing the random noises of the night … Oh, I went by your house … your wife is so pretty, your daughter so precious … I just had to …
RR: That’s it, Fang’s had enough and now they’re brawling in the aisle! Fang takes the larger Ragnarok into the guard rail! Rapid fire kicks and now a chop send Ragnarok over into the crowd! This is wild!
CF: You’ve got that right! Fang rears back but Ragnarok pulls a child in front of him! That kid can’t be more than 10 years old! That’s despicable!
RR: Fang grabs the child from Raggy’s grasp but leaves him vulnerable to attack! Ragnarok with a double sledge and Fang collapses in a heap. He dumps him back over the guard rail and climbs over himself, stomping Fang’s head on the way down …
CF: That was brutal … I think Fang may have a cut above his eye now.
RR: Ragnarok lifts Fang over his head … Gorilla press … is he going to throw him into the ring? NO! Straight down onto the unprotected concrete! Fang has got to be out …
CF: Ragnarok is looking for something under the ring … it’s his broadsword! Abbadon is at ringside!
RR: He better not! Ragnarok readies a swing at Fang but the ref grabs at Abbadon! Ragnarok is livid! He shoves the referee down! Fang is up! Kick to the hand knocks out Abbadon, spinning kick takes Ragnarok into the steel steps!
CF: Wow! Get that broadsword out of here!
RR: Fang rolls Ragnarok back into the ring and here’s some measured kicks to Ragnarok’s rib cage. Off the ropes, big legdrop! For the cover:
1!
2!
Raggy with a big kickout!
CF: I’m surprised he went for a pin … I figured these two would just batter each other senseless.
RR: Fang whips Ragnarok into the corner … he charges monkey flip? NO! Ragnarok has both hands around Fang’s throat! Two handed chokeslam takes Fang almost through the mat! What a move and Fang is down! Ragnarok now just straddles Fang and let’s loose with a barrage of lefts and rights, all focused on that cut above Fang’s left eye! Now he bites at it! Fang is starting to bleed!
CF: Look at the demonic look on Ragnarok’s face! There’s blood dripping out of his mouth!
RR: This is brutal. He lifts Fang, and here’s a few knee lifts into the stomach. He whips him across the ring … Big Boot takes Fang off his feet. Off the ropes and here’s a huge leg drop onto the bloodied face of Fang!
CF: Ragnarok looks like a man possessed. Now he’s just grabbing at the wound above Fang’s eyes and trying to open it even wider! Now he’s biting at it again!
RR: He throws Fang’s bloody head down and stands over him … he wipes Fang’s blood across his chest … he’s … he’s laughing? He’s enjoying himself! This is carnage!
CF: I can’t believe we’re witnessing this … atrocious deed.
RR: Ragnarok bends over to lift Fang but Fang sweeps the leg! Ragnarok goes down hard! Fang’s trying to get to his feet, but has he lost too much blood?
CF: I don’t know, but Ragnarok is getting up too!
RR: Fang goes through the big man’s legs! Off the ropes … a lariat staggers the big man … off the ropes again, another clothesline staggers Ragnarok back! Ragnarok dares him to do it again! Fang off the ropes a third time and he takes Ragnarok down with a spinning heel kick!
CF: The fans are going absolutely bonkers now!
RR: Raggy’s getting up though … kick to the back of the leg, kick to the chest, kick to the leg again, kick to the chest but it’s caught by Ragnarok … ENZUIGIRI BY FANG! Ragnarok is staggered … Fang quickly to the top … SPINNING HEEL KICK FROM THE TOP! Ragnarok is down! Fang for the cover:
1!
2!
3
NO! Ragnarok kicked out!
CF: Incredible!
RR: Fang picks up Ragnarok and whips him into the ropes but it’s reversed … Fang off the ropes and he leaps into a prawn hold body scissors! Ragnarok lifts him up to drive him face first, but Fang rolls through into a victory roll!
1!
2!
NO! Ragnarok escapes!
CF: Oh wow.
RR: Dropkick by Fang and Ragnarok goes out of the ring … Fang’s getting ready … hold on … what does Ragnarok have in his hands? Fang with the tope suicida right into ABBADON! NO! NO!
CF: He got him with the handle and not the blade, thank god.
RR: Ragnarok rolls Fang in … it’s academic now … he lifts him up … LUCIFUGE down! For the cover:
1!
2!
3!
CF: Ragnarok wins in a sickening display … hold on … he’s got Abbadon again! He’s standing over Fang … he’s … he’s … going to stab Fang in the chest with Abbadon! NO! THIS CAN’T HAPPEN!
RR: Ragnarok’s gone insane … the ref is trying to stop him but he gets nailed with the pommel of the sword for his trouble! He’s going to do it …
CF: Look … out of the dressing room … it’s DAVID BRICELAND!
RR: Briceland kicks Abbadon out of Ragnarok’s hands and here’s a right, another right and he clotheslines Ragnarok out of the ring … Ragnarok grabs Abbadon and walks off … what a coward!
CF: Briceland is checking on Fang as Ragnarok disappears beyond the curtain … Fang looks to be in rough shape …
RR: Hold on …out of the back … it’s Jenn Briceland … she’s clutching at her stomach … she’s bleeding … NO! NO! DEAR GOD NO!
CF: Ragnarok has come back out … there’s blood on Abbadon … He’s laughing … he disappears but Jenn is bleeding … her stomach has been cut open! David Briceland checks on his wife … Oh my God …
RR: THIS IS SICK! THIS IS AN ATROCITY! I’m going to check on her …
CF: The doc is out to check on both Fang and Jenn … David is in shock … Rich is out there to check … I can’t believe that Ragnarok would do such a thing to Jenn like that … Fang is coming to in the ring … He sees the commotion in the aisle … he goes over there … he and David have respect for one another … that’s why Briceland made the save, but at what cost? Rich is coming back to report …
RR: Chad, thank the good lord on this one, but it’s not serious. Just some superficial cuts, nothing major … I think Ragnarok was trying to scare Briceland.
CF: Still … this is something I don’t take kindly to. I’m going to get this bastard arrested …
RR: Well, that’s another thing. As the Doc was coming out here, he said Ragnarok is long gone …
CF: To where?
RR: I don’t know … but I venture he’ll be hard to find. Let’s take a break and sort this out before our main event … Gabriel Ragnarok, you make me sick.
Main Event
World Champ Axel Reed and US champ Wyatt Wallace
versus
Tag Champs Luni and Jarred Matthews
Every belt on the line
Guest Ref: Marcus Payne
RR: It’s main event time, folks! Every title is on the line! If you’ll excuse Chad and I’s somber mood, let’s get this party started, and hopefully, there’ll be no bloodletting, no assault of women or children and no just out and out malice.
CF: Are you kidding? With these four in the ring, there’s going to be nothing but malice! But first, let’s introduce our Guest Referee!
Dan Gilbert, ring announcer: Ladies and Gentlemen, please welcome the guest referee of the evening, the former UWC Heavyweight Champion of the World, Marcus Payne!
RR: And here he comes, draped with all the gold … he seems to have gotten his smile back, but with all that gold around him, how could he not smile?
CF: Oh please. It’d be something if he actually earned any of that gold, but none of it is his! He stole it from my office in the back!
RR: Well, Payne never did lose the world title, did he?
CF: Shut it. Let’s bring out the Tag Champions next.
RR: And here comes Luni … Call him the accidental tag champion as he tried to attack Matthews, who didn’t have a partner, and ended up knocking himself and Tommy Kain senseless and accidentally pinning him. But he’s a champion now, and he’s got the opportunity of a lifetime here.
CF: And here comes his tag team partner … and I use that term loosely because these two are on the opposite side of the spectrum when it comes to getting it done in the ring … Where the hell is Luni going? He’s hopped the guardrail and is headed into the stands …
RR: I don’t get it … did you notice Matthews has brought his own chair with him to the ring … he’s making a promise that the JM-assacre will be performed tonight!
CF: Before we get to the opposition, let’s explain the rules:
#1. If you hit Marcus Payne, you’re eliminated from the match, and your partner goes on alone. If you have a singles title, you forfeit it to Payne.
#2. If you get pinned or you submit, you lose your title to whoever pinned you.
#3. Marcus Payne is in control of the action, so he’ll be making up the rules as he goes along.
#4. There is no goofy pretense that you have to do your opponent’s finisher on him before you can pin him.
RR: Why the hell is Luni in the bleachers with the fans?
CF: I am afraid to ask.
RR: Well, let’s bring out the United States Champion, Wyatt Wallace! Here he comes with the lovely and talented Lisa … No sign of “Dave” though.
CF: Thank god. It’s been an interesting night with the women of the UWC with Vicious Vicki leaving Whiplash for Brittany, Whitney leaving Mondonno for the FMC, and Jenn Briceland getting attacked by Gabriel Ragnarok, so we’ll see if Lisa sticks by her man.
RR: Wyatt Wallace looks ready to go … and he’s eyeing his US title around the neck of Marcus Payne.
CF: And well, let’s bring out the World Champion, Axel “Idol” Reed! He looks pumped and ready to go …
RR: Y’know Chad, to be honest, I have no idea what’s going to be happening tonight.
CF: Me either! That’s why I booked this crazy ass match!
RR: Well, truer words have never been said. Payne removes the title belts and holds each one over his head to signify that they are all indeed up for grabs tonight. Ring the bell, it’ll be Wallace and Matthews to start, since Luni is still in the crowd.
CF: So, with Reed on the apron, Matthews can only win the US title, and Wallace can only win the tag titles, right?
RR: Right.
CF: If Wallace tags Reed in, can he pin Reed?
RR: I’m not sure. That’d be up to Payne, and we’ll cross that bridge when we come to it.
CF: I guess.
RR: Collar-and-elbow, Wallace takes a headlock on Matthews. Matthews pushes him off and here's a shoulderblock that takes Matthews down. Wallace off the ropes again and Matthews trips him up with a drop toehold. Matthews floats over into a front chancery but Wallace wiggles out and hooks a hammer lock on Matthews. Matthews struggles to his feet … Matthews jumps up, dropkicks backwards and dives into a forward roll! Interesting counter there by Matthews … Wallace applauds him.
CF: I think Wallace may have been making fun of Matthews there.
RR: Well, who knows. Collar-and-elbow again and Wallace lifts a knee into Matthews’ gut. He scoops him up and here’s a body slam. Elbow drop misses! Matthews with one of his own and he misses! Wallace with an arm drag to take Matthews down! Matthews up again and Wallace goes for a hip toss but Matthews counters with one of his own … Both men go for a dropkick and now they stand, head-to-head …
CF: These are two even competitors …
RR: Hold on … is that Peyton Dowdy in the crowd with Luni? What does this mean?
CF: I don’t know … but it can’t be good for Reed and Wallace …
RR: Collar and Elbow again but Matthews kicks Wallace in the leg. Frontkick to the chest stands Wallace up and a spin kick takes Wallace down to the mat.
CF: Put a chair in front of Wallace’s face and that’s the JM-assacre!
RR: Matthews is quick on the advantage and he hooks a vertical suplex. Up Wallace goes and Wallace flips out of it and behind Matthews. Back drop suplex by Wallace but Matthews flips out of that … he pushes Wallace into the ropes for a roll up, but Wallace holds on … Matthews charges and Wallace back body drops him over the top rope and onto the floor!
CF: Incredible move there by Wallace … Wallace springboards to the top rope …
RR: SPRINGBOARD SOMERSAULT PLANCHA by Wallace! Matthews is down in a heap! Reed is down and he grabs Matthews and tosses him into the ring … he wants to make the pin:
!
Payne isn’t counting?
CF: Reed and Payne are in each other’s face … Luni’s coming down from the bleachers … he springs onto the guard rail … huricanrana on Wallace on the floor! He rolls Wallace back in and he goes to the top rope …
RR: Matthews rolls onto Wallace for the pin …
1!
2!
LUNI FLIP OFF THE TOP ROPE ONTO BOTH MEN!
CF: Well, that put an end to that count … Reed is in and he whips Luni into the ropes … tilt-a-whirl backbreaker down! Off the ropes and here’s an elbow drop! He goes for the pin:
1!
2!
Matthews pulls Reed off of Luni …
RR: Matthews doesn’t want to lose those tag titles … but he’s still a little groggy from his partner flipping onto him like that!
CF: What about Wallace? He was on the bottom of that pile!
RR: Reed whips Matthews into the ropes and he catches Matthews with a sleeper hold! Matthews pushes him off and now he and Payne are face to face!
CF: If Reed touches him he forfeits his title!
RR: Schoolboy by Matthews:
1!
2!
3
Matthews was a blink away from winning the World Title! Reed up but Luni rolls him up!
1!
2!
Wallace pulls Luni off! Matthews dropkicks Wallace in the face and Wallace falls to the floor … Matthews follows … ASAI MOONSAULT! Matthews and Wallace tumble into the crowd!
CF: INCREDIBLE!
RR: Reed and Payne are still arguing! Payne’s threatening to send this match completely out! Luni up to the top rope … Cross body but Reed ducks! Payne and Luni crack heads! They’re both out … Peyton Dowdy is charging the ring … Reed covers Luni for the World Tag Titles:
1!
2!
3
Matthews pulls Dowdy out of the ring! Low blow by Matthews! He’s got the chair … JM-ASSACRE ON DOWDY! DOWDY IS OUT!
CF: Payne’s out of it, and so’s Luni! Here comes Wallace!
RR: Dropkick to the back of Matthews head sends him crashing into the ring post! OUCH! Reed’s out and he and Wallace roll Matthews into the ring … Double whip … Double clothesline is ducked and Matthews off the far ropes with a spinning heel kick that takes Reed out! Wallace ducked! Matthews up but there’s a kick to the gut! BLINDED WITH SCIENCE! Wallace has Matthews pinned!
CF: But Payne is still recovering from that wild move from Luni where they knocked heads … Payne sees the pin:
1!
2!
Luni with a dropkick on the prone Wallace! Wallace is hurt!
RR: Reed grabs Luni … Powerbomb? NO! Reversed into a huricanrana! For the World Title:
1! 2! Reed escapes!
CF: Was that a fast count from Marcus Payne?
RR: I think so, and Reed is taking exception with it … Luni with a schoolboy on the distracted Reed!
1! 2! Reed escapes again! Luni and Reed up quickly and Reed ducks a wild Luni swing and hooks Luni with a waist lock! GERMAN SUPLEX! For the tag titles:
!
Payne’s not counting! He’s got something in his eyes!
CF: That’s a load of … Reed is livid! But he can’t touch Payne or he’ll forfeit his world title!
RR: Wallace dropkicks Luni from behind and Luni is thrust into Reed! Reed falls out of the ring! Wallace charges and Luni flips Wallace out of the ring and he lands on Reed! The US Champ and the World Champ are out on the floor … Luni grabs a chair from ringside and is going to go for something wild … Matthews to his feet … JM-ASSACRE ON LUNI! Matthews for the cover:
1!
2!
3!
YOUR WINNER, AND NEW TAG TEAM CHAMPIONS … WAIT A MINUTE … They’re partners?
CF: Payne realizes his goof, so does Matthews … RESTART THE MATCH!
RR: Matthews sets up the chair … Off the ropes, off Luni, off the chair to the top rope, PLANCHA TO THE FLOOR! But Wallace and Reed scatter! Matthews ate nothing but guard rail! Matthews is going to feel that in the morning … Reed throws him into the ring … Wallace to the top rope … Reed gets Matthews on his shoulders … DOOMSDAY DEVICE! Matthews is out cold!
CF: Reed for the cover for the World Tag Team Championship:
!
Payne refuses to count!
RR: What is up with Payne? He must be upset that Reed is the world Champion when Payne never lost it!
CF: Wallace for the cover on the fallen Matthews:
1!
2!
3
Luni makes the save!
RR: Why would Luni make the save when just five minutes ago, Matthews brained him with that chair?!
CF: Well, who knows …
RR: Reed grabs the hurt Luni for another German suplex, but Luni with the Universal Reversal! Luni off the ropes but he’s caught … DESTRUCTION DRIVER! Reed for the cover:
!
Payne is not counting any pinfalls by Reed …
CF: Look … Wallace is barking orders at Reed …
RR: Reed drags Luni toward one of the corners … Wallace ascends to the top … 450 Splash onto Luni’s knees! Wallace is doubled over in pain! Luni to his feet but an armbar take down by Reed leads to the STRAIGHTJACKET! Payne has to count the submission!
CF: Payne is walking away to check on Matthews and Wallace, who are both still down! LUNI JUST TAPPED! BUT PAYNE ISN’T COUNTING IT!
RR: Wallace is getting to his feet, but Reed is going completely insane … he’s won this match maybe 3 times already if Payne would just count the damn pinfall or counted the submission … Reed is in Payne’s face … talking trash … Payne shoves Reed back! Reed and Wallace knock heads … Matthews rolls Wallace up!
1!
2!
3!
Matthews gets the pinfall! WE HAVE A NEW UNITED STATES CHAMPION! Matthews can’t even stand, but he’s the new US CHAMPION!!!
CF: Wallace is in Reed’s face … this is his fault!
RR: Reed turns around and decks Payne! Wallace turns Reed around and continues to berate him! Reed shoves Wallace! Wallace shoves Reed back … right into Payne, who lifts Reed up … INVERTED DVD! He grabs Wallace and throws him on top of Reed:
1!
2!
3!
We have a new WORLD CHAMPION! Wallace can’t believe it, but now he’s the new World Heavyweight Champion …
CF: Luni’s on the top rope … He leaps … LUNI SUPER DROP ON MARCUS PAYNE! He covers … oh what the hell … Wallace drops down to count:
1!
2!
3!
LUNI PINS PAYNE! He’s still tag team champion!
RR: I think we better do something before more titles change hands … Foster has headed into the ring and separated the five men, most of whom are out of it … Foster has the title belts …
He hands the US title to Jarred Matthews. Matthews holds it up … Jenny Rovero’s breasts some where are shaking with happiness.
He hands the Tag Team belts to Luni … Luni offers one to Matthews, but Matthews tells Luni to keep it … I guess Luni needs a partner now … could it be Hellkid?
And he holds up the World Title, and he hands it to Wyatt Wallace. Lisa is in and she grabs the title, Wallace lifts her onto his shoulder! What a sight …
We’re out of time … Catch you next week!
